I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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