Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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