I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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