You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
