We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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