i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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