that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
