he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize