yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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