I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
