does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
