I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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