The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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