East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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