just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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