We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
