So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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