I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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