I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the day after is always just damage control
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
