ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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