thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Someone shit on the floor
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize