my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
