carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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