I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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