Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
one two three fourrrrnication!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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