also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize