I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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