Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
