So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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