I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
