you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
