Im at strip club and am horny
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
