have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
