I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
