ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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