FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
