All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
