Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize