Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
