is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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