PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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