Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
