dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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