What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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