Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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