booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize