youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
