I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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