Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
being pregnant is like rehab
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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