fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
