she looked like the before picture.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
