you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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