so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
