don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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