haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
