i just wanna soil my oats bro
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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