He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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