I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
