Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
