her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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