If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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