I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
