Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
