i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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