why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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