thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
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McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
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We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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