so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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