So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
