Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sext me about skeletons
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