he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
